Hello, Fireteam: The Family We Chose

Family is often seen as the most important group in our lives simply because we share blood. Society expects us to prioritise them above all else, as if blood is the ultimate connection. Friends, on the other hand, tend to come and go, and are often regarded as less significant, almost disposable compared to family. Yet I believe there are people you meet who become truly special: you laugh together, argue, disagree, and still choose to reconnect day after day, not out of obligation, but because you genuinely want to. Over time, these friends can begin to feel like family, a family you choose for yourself. Unlike traditional family ties, these friendships are built on shared experiences and mutual support, which sometimes create bonds even stronger than those of blood. Remarkably, all of these connections grew from interactions through voice and text alone.

I've always sorted people into categories such as online friends, work friends, church friends and so on. However, a particular group of friends I met online challenged my assumptions about relationships and showed me that true connection isn't limited by categories or proximity.

A bit of backstory: Destiny 2 launched on 6th September 2017, following the strong conclusion of Destiny 1's Rise of Iron. Unfortunately, Destiny 2 was a major disappointment for me. It ended a three-year relationship with a game I had absolutely loved. I felt let down after investing so much time and energy into the first game, and stepping away from the community was difficult.

For years, I stayed away from the game, focusing on other interests. But in 2020, as the pandemic took hold and free time became abundant, Destiny 2 found its way back into my life. The game was preparing to launch its new expansion, Beyond Light, and in an effort to attract more players, it became available on Xbox Game Pass. I already had Game Pass and plenty of spare time, so I thought, "I had a lot of fun playing this game at one point. Why not give it another go?" My intention was to play casually, although, if I'm honest, being truly casual isn't my strong suit.

Rediscovering the game during lockdown brought back a sense of nostalgia and comfort during an uncertain time. That was when an old friend from university, whom I'll call Commander Jeto, invited me to join his clan, House of Toil. And, as they say, the rest is history.

After joining the clan, I quickly found myself immersed in the complex love-hate relationship between Bungie and the Destiny community, a relationship that would last four years. Thankfully, those years were spent with people I’m grateful to call friends. I hope our friendship lasts a long time, maybe even forever, though I know that's a big ask. I actually like these people, what can I say.

With the clan sorted, the hard part of finding people to play the endgame content with was gone. Now, I just had the monumental task of asking to join in (something I honestly don’t do enough of, but that’s a story for another time). I met Moosimus Prime (Irish but lives in Canada) and Kaylski (English but lives in Wales) during my first clan activities. They seemed like they could use some extra energy on their team and game is better as a team of three anyway, so I latched on to them like crack to a drug addict, and a dynamic threeo was born. We went on to play hundreds of hours together, tackling Nightfalls, special missions, day one dungeons, and raids with the wider team.

At some point, I met MarcoMVP (Dutch), who really loves Gambit, a game mode that got less love than Crucible and was eventually taken out the back and double tapped. Then there was Know Hope Now (England), the daddy of the team, and someone I realise I had very little interaction with the more I think about it. Last, but certainly not least, is Meateora (London), affectionately called Forehead, someone freakishly good at any game he plays. I’d cycle a 50-mile round trip just to hang out with him. We even did Tough Mudder ‘together’ (long story), and he’s the reason we would all finally meet in person (spoilers).

Amidst our digital escapades, we had our very own cheer squad: Ally, Moosimus Prime's better half; Orli, Meateora's fiancée and bride-to-be; and Jen, Commander Jeto's partner-in-crime, who occasionally joined our Destiny shenanigans.

After years of mostly interacting through voice chat, one of the gang announcing a wedding felt like the perfect opportunity to break the physical barrier. The date was set. We first met on Friday, 15th August, without the groom, and it felt surreal to finally put a presence to the people I’d spent the last few years getting to know and respect. As I hugged each friend, a wave of familiarity mixed with excitement washed over me, making the surreal moment feel truly special. We played games together, this time in person, went to a variety of restaurants, wandered through Covent Garden and visited the Royal Ballet and Opera building, where I used to work, and where we enjoyed a light brunch of cake and coffee. Afterwards, we bought some last-minute gifts and generally made the most of the short time we had together. The excitement built as we spent Saturday exploring together, knowing that Sunday would bring the main event.

Then came Sunday, the day of the wedding. I was the designated driver and, after a detour to Miller & Carter in Harlow for a lovely lunch, we arrived at our destination, Gosfield. We checked in at the inn, freshened up, and got dressed for the wedding (yes, there were pre-wedding fashion shoot pictures).

The wedding venue was Gosfield Hall, an absolute stunner with a rich history dating back to 1545. But this story isn’t about its past. Upon arrival, we discovered that someone, who shall remain nameless (cough, the groom), had given us the wrong time, so we ended up arriving an hour earlier than expected. With extra time on our hands, we decided to explore the grounds and enjoy some games before the festivities began. We took more pictures and played Mini golf and Giant Chess, making the most of the unexpected free time.

The groom made up for his blunder by coming down earlier than planned with the bride to say hello. It was as emotional as it sounds; this was the first time he had been in the same space with everyone else. Later in the evening, we gathered in one of the rooms to see his reaction as he opened his gifts. Admittedly, I’m not the best at gift giving, but MarcoMVP had spotted a Master Chief helmet during our last-minute shopping the day before. Knowing the groom’s love of Halo, it was agreed that this present would steal the show. The excitement was palpable as he lifted the helmet out of the box, and the moment was deeply moving. There might have been a tear or two shed, including as I write this now!

Concluding this isn't easy, as this is just a glimpse into a friendship I long treated as something separate from the rest of my life. Yet, it’s a special kind of realisation when you understand that the best friendships are those that challenge us to grow and evolve, friendships we return to day after day. Whether it was late-night gaming sessions, sharing inside jokes, or supporting each other through life’s ups and downs, these moments have truly shaped our bond. Thank you for reading this highlight in the ongoing story of our friendship, one I hope will endure for many years to come.

Wait, I do have the perfect conclusion, courtesy of the company that created the game that brought us together.

"Through boldness to the stars." This has come to symbolise our journey as friends: daring to reach out, to connect, and to build something lasting together, no matter the distance or the obstacles in our way.